At the outset it should be understood that marriage is an important step and a lifelong responsibility. Realising the responsibility of such a major decision, one should select a suitable partner to fulfil this great Sunnat of Rasululahصلى الله عليه و سلم.
حدثنا مسدد حدثنا يحيى يعنى ابن سعيد حدثنى عبيد الله حدثنى سعيد بن أبىسعيد عن أبيه عن أبى هريرة عن النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم قال تنكح النساء لأربع لمالهاولحسبها ولجمالها ولدينها فاظفر بذات الدين تربت يداك
It has been narrated from Abu Huraira رضى الله عنه that Nabiصلى الله عليه و سلم said “Women are married for four reasons. (She is either married) for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty and for her Deen. Then be successful by (taking) a woman of Deen, (Otherwise) may your hands be soiled.”
From the above Hadith, the importance of giving Deen preference when selecting a partner for marriage is understood.
Shari’a encourages Kufu (suitability/compatibility) between the spouses in marriage. This compatibility is emphasized in Shari’a in the interest of both parties, as the spouses intend to be together forever. For a successful marriage they will have to be thinking and living alike, and this would only be achieved by having compatibility between them. After all, the purpose of marriage is to live in tranquillity and peace with a suitable spouse. If this is not achieved, the purpose of marriage would be defeated. A contributing factor to the breakup of marriages is the different outlook of either spouse, be it social, moral or religious.
Marrying a Christian or Jewish spouse poses many challenges. One of the biggest challenges in such marriages is the rearing of children. If the spouses should have children, each of them would want the child or children to follow their respective religions. Automatically this will cause an argument. If the husband is weak in his Deen, he will succumb to the desire of his wife and their children will perhaps end up going to church. Not only will the child be influenced in this way but the wife will take the child to her parents where the child will get used to their way of life and even end up eating non Halaal foods. Even worse would be the case where those grandparents actually influence the child against his or her own father because of dislike for his religion. The children in such a marriage sometimes grow up confused not knowing what to follow as they had seen their father practicing on one Deen and the mother practicing something else. By not having a sound upbringing, their whole life and their concept of marriage will be corrupted. In this case, the children cannot be blamed; rather this is the consequence of the negative atmosphere they were exposed to and the incompatibility of the parents. Sadly, in most cases, these marriages end in divorce. Many families have broken up in this way causing a ripple of social disruption; causing innocent children to suffer the unfortunate consequence.
In some cases the father is strong in his Deen and will have the upper hand over his children. Having a strong influence on the child and sometimes even on his wife.
If you acquainted with a Christian girl, it would be an extremely meritorious act to encourage her to embrace this Deen of Islam. However, this will be no easy task as there will be much for her to learn and sometimes, in some cases, if she embraces Islam only to make the husband happy, she may decide that Islam is not the way of life she had in mind and decides to leave this Deen.
On the other hand it would be highly advisable to marry a good Deeni girl who would not only be a wonderful wife but an excellent mother. She would be such a wife who would be regular on her Salaah and also encourage her children to perform Salaah; a wife who would give her children an Islamic upbringing and good manners and most of all, a wife who would treat her husband with respect and love. Therefore, ponder carefully over your decision.
http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/17317
Ibn Sireen rahmatullahi alayh made a comprehensive and apt statement regarding authentic knowledge and its importance for a Muslim. He says:
إن هذا العلم دين فانظروا عمن تأخذونه[i]
Translation: “This ilm (knowledge) IS deen (religion) so watch who you obtain your knowledge from.”
A persons actions are directed by his knowledge and understanding. If one has the correct understanding of Deen, his actions will follow in the correct direction. If his understanding is incorrect, his actions too will be incorrect.
It is therefore important to search for reliable and authentic Ulama and seek knowledge from them. The sign of a true Alim is mentioned in the Quran: Allah the Almighty states:
إِنَّمَا يَخْشَى اللَّهَ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ الْعُلَمَاءُ
(35:28)
“Only those fear Allah, from among His servants, who have knowledge.”
This means that for a person to be a true, reliable scholar of Deen, it is necessary that he have the fear and awareness of Allah the Almighty embedded in his heart. The knowledge and religious information one possesses is of no value without the consciousness and awareness of Allah Ta’ala. Amongst the various reasons for this, one is that a person who has the fear and awareness of Allah Ta’ala embedded in his heart, he will be honest and truthful when it comes to imparting his knowledge; he will not blur the lines between Haq and Batil (truth and falsehood) for his gain or another person’s gain. A person who fears Allah will not say anything about Shariah he does not know. He exercises extreme caution in issues of Shariah. The “Islamic scholars” you refer to in the question are not the type of scholars Allah refers to in the Quran. Being scholars does not mean they are Ulama with authority on Shariah. Such people should be vetted by Ulama of Haq to fall in the category of Ulama.
Any true and reliable scholar would know that it is not permissible for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man of any other faith.[ii] Allah Ta’ala has designed some laws different for men and women. Among them are polygamy and marriage to non-Muslims. Allah Ta’ala is our Creator and He knows what is best for a male and female. He knows the temperament and nature of both and accordingly designated laws that are best for them. We are the slaves of Allah Ta’ala and simply submit to the laws of Allah Ta’ala.
The ‘scholars’ you refer to claim that the Quran has not prohibited Muslim women from marrying non-Muslim men. Moreover, if men are permitted to marry Christian or Jewish women (Ahlul Kitab) then why can’t women? Both substantiations lack academic merit. Any student having basic understanding of law would know that one is a rule and the other is an exception to the rule. The general rule is that Muslims (both male and female) are only permitted to wed people of the same faith (fellow Muslims). This ‘rule’ is based on the following verse of Surah Al-Baqarah; Allah the Almighty states:
وَلَا تَنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكَاتِ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنَّ وَلَأَمَةٌ مُؤْمِنَةٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكَةٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَتْكُمْ وَلَا تُنْكِحُوا الْمُشْرِكِينَ حَتَّى يُؤْمِنُوا وَلَعَبْدٌ مُؤْمِنٌ خَيْرٌ مِنْ مُشْرِكٍ وَلَوْ أَعْجَبَكُمْ
(2:221)
“Do not marry unbelieving women (idolaters), until they believe: A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though she allures you. Nor marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe: A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though he allures you.”
The exception to this rule is the verse in which Allah the Almighty permits men to marry the women of Ahlul Kitab (Christians and Jews) i.e.:
وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الْمُؤْمِنَاتِ وَالْمُحْصَنَاتُ مِنَ الَّذِينَ أُوتُوا الْكِتَابَ
(5:5)
“Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the Ahlul Kitab (people of the book).”
In addition, in the same verse Allah the Almighty orders any Muslim man wishing to marry a kitaabi that he must hand over to her the mahr (dowry) that she is owed.
“When you have given their due Mahr (bridal money given by the
husband to his wife at the time of marriage)”
(5:5)
Mahr (dowry) is given to the wife from the husband; there is no difference of opinion in this matter and the jurists of the Ummah are unanimous on this fact. This clearly indicates and elucidates the fact that the permission granted in the abovementioned verse is restricted to Muslim men.
In another place, when Allah Ta’ala is talking about the Muhaajiraat (women from Makkah who have accepted and migrated to Madinah) He states:
فَلَا تَرْجِعُوهُنَّ إِلَى الْكُفَّارِ لَا هُنَّ حِلٌّ لَهُمْ وَلَا هُمْ يَحِلُّونَ لَهُنَّ
(60:10)
“Do not return them to the disbelievers; they are not lawful [wives] for
them, nor are they lawful [husbands] for them.”
The prohibition; in this verse; of returning Muslim women to their former husbands is general, whether the husbands are from the Ahlul Kitab (people of the Book) or polytheists. Simply put, a Muslim woman cannot be with a non-Muslim husband.
There has been consensus on this issue and this is the unanimous view of the scholars from the golden era of the Sahabah Radhi Allahu anhum. Imam Bukhari radhi Allahu anhu has dedicated a whole chapter to this situation in his canonical compilation of Ahadith; Sahih al Bukhari.[iii]
And Allah Ta’āla Knows Best
Checked and Approved by,
Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb
Mufti Ebrahim Desai Saheb
http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/24383
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In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
Inter-marriage between Muslims and non-Muslims is something that has been clearly prohibited in the Qur’an and Sunnah, thus not permissible in any way. The only exception to this general rule is the marriage of Muslim men with Christian and Jewish girls, and that also with certain conditions.
Allah Most High says:
“Do not marry unbelieving women until they believe. A slave woman who believes is better than an unbelieving woman, even though if she attracts you. And not marry (your girls) to unbelievers until they believe. A man slave who believes is better than an unbeliever, even though if he attracts you. Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire but Allah beckons by His grace to the garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His signs clear to mankind; that they may receive admonition.” (al-Baqarah, 221)
The above verse of the Holy Qur’an along with many other statements of the Qur’an and Sunnah clearly mention the impermissibility of Muslims marrying non-Muslims. Therefore, a marriage between a Muslim and someone from another religion will not be lawful or even valid according to Islam. The exception, however, is mentioned in the following verse:
“(Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the people of the book.” (al-Ma’idah, 5)
Thus, it would be permissible, in principle, for Muslim men to marry women from the people of the book (ahl al-Kitab) namely Christian and Jewish girls. However, this is also subjected to certain conditions, as will be mentioned later.
The reason behind this prohibition (of inter-marriage between Muslims and non-Muslims) is that, marital relationships demand mutual love, affection and intimacy, and without this, the purpose of marriage is left unfulfilled. If such close relationship of love and intimacy is established with a non-Muslim, it may emotionally incline a Muslim towards disbelief (kufr) or, at the least; abhorrence of Kufr and Shirk may not remain in the heart. Consequently, it may lead one to disbelief and eventually the fire of Hell. This is why Allah Almighty said towards the end of the verse of Surah al-Baqarah quoted above:
“Unbelievers do (but) beckon you to the fire, but Allah beckons by His grace to the garden (of bliss) and forgiveness, and makes His signs clear to mankind; that they may receive admonition.” ( 221) (See: Ma’arif al-Qur’an, 1/ 540)
Therefore, the fear that a Muslim man or woman may well be affected with his/her partner’s religion, thus go on to a path that leads to the fire of hell, is the main cause for this prohibition. Hence, a Muslim woman will not be allowed whatsoever to marry anyone besides a Muslim man, and even if she did, the marriage will not be valid in Islam. Similarly, a Muslim man will not be allowed to marry any non-Muslim girl, such as a Hindu, Sikh, Buddhist, or any other non-Muslim woman. However, it will be permissible for him to marry a Christian or a Jewish girl. This is explained in the following section.
Marrying Christian and Jewish girls
As stated previously, Islam has allowed Muslim men to marry women from the people of the book (ahl al-Kitab). This permission is explicitly mentioned in the verse of the Qur’an already quoted:
“(Lawful unto you in marriage are chaste women who are believers and chaste women among the people of the book.” (al-Ma'idah, 5)
However, there are certain points that need to be taken into consideration here:
Firstly, the exception of Christian and Jewish girls is because the difference in belief between the people of the book and Muslims is relatively lesser and lighter as compared with other non-Muslims. They are all monotheistic religions and known as the Abrahamic faiths. The basic difference between Islam and the other two religions is the belief in the last Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace). Therefore, the fear and danger of corruptibility is less as compared to marrying with women from other faiths, thus Islam gave this permission for Muslim men to marry Christian and Jewish girls.
A question may arise here, that if the difference between Muslims and people of the book is considered to be lighter as compared to other faiths, then why is it unlawful for Muslim girls to marry Christian and Jewish men?
The answer to this question is that, women are somewhat weak and emotional by nature. Then, the husband has also been given a caretaking and controlling role over the wife. As such, it is very likely that the Muslim wife may fall prey and become impressed with her husband’s faith. The chances of the husband becoming affected by his wife’s faith are remote, thus the difference between the two situations is clear.
Moreover, by marrying a Christian or a Jewish man, the status of the Muslim wife would be affected, for the wife normally takes the nationality and status given by her husband’s law. A Christian or a Jewish woman marrying a Muslim man would be expected eventually to accept Islam, while the possibility of a Muslim woman changing her faith to that of her husband is very likely. Therefore, only Muslim men were given this permission of marrying women from the people of the book.
Secondly, women who are Christians and Jews merely by name, and do not really believe in any religion, like a large number of people in the west, cannot be termed as people of the book (ahl al-Kitab). They are atheist in reality and it will not be permissible for Muslim men to marry them.
Therefore, one must first make sure that the woman is truly a believing Christian or Jew, and then consider contracting marriage with them.
Thirdly, it should be remembered that the meaning of the permission of marrying Christian and Jewish women is simply that, if a marriage contract was performed with them, it would be valid according to Islam and the children born out of this wedlock will be considered legitimate.
However, there are various narrations that establish its undesirability. A Muslim man is advised in the Hadith to select a life partner who fully observes the injunctions of Islam, so that she becomes a means of attaining piety. If that is the case, then marrying Christian and Jewish girls would be disliked.
This is the reason why Sayyiduna Umar ibn al-Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) prevented many such marriages in his lifetime because of what he had seen of the corruption that resulted in Iraq and Syria. (See: Muhammad ibn al-Hasan, Kitab al-Athar).
Finally, this permission is only when one is confident that he himself or his children will not be affected by this marriage. In the early days, Muslims were duly equipped with adequate Islamic knowledge and an unshaken commitment towards their religion. As such, there was no risk of the husband being affected by his wife’s religion. Rather, the wife would see the glory of Islam, thus enter into the fold of Islam.
Therefore, if a Muslim male is confident that marriage with a Christian or Jewish girl will have no affect on his and his children’s Islamic identity and commitment, then there is no bar against such marriages. However, if he is not so confident, he must avoid entering into such marriages.
And Allah Knows Best
[Mufti] Muhammad ibn Adam
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
Darul Iftaa
Leicester , UK
Assalāmu ῾alaykum wa Rahmatullāhi Wabarakātuh
Mashallah! It is wonderful to note your concern in wanting to execute the noble act of Nikah in the rightful Islamic procedure. One should, at all times, adopt such an approach for all religious matters.
In principle, the Quran has permitted a Muslim boy to marry a Christian or Jewish girl, i.e. since they belong to the Ahle Kitab. However, there are two important aspects to bear in mind:
1) Nowadays, many of those who claim to be “The People of the Book” are in reality atheists. They are only Christian or Jew by name. They claim to follow a religion but in fact do not believe in it. At times, they may practice on a few isolated aspects of Christianity but this also only when and if it suits them. This is the plight of many in western countries also.
2) The Shariah has only permitted the nikah of a Muslim boy to a Jewish or Christian girl where there is no apprehension of the husband or his children being influenced by the women’s religious matters. In the early days of Islam, every Muslim was duly equipped with adequate knowledge of his religion and had an unshaken commitment to Islamic principles. There was no fear of the Muslim man being misled by any foreign influence. Rather, he was supposed to convince his wife in religious issues. Therefore, if a Muslim is fully confident that his marriage with a Christian or Jewish girl will never affect his religious life or that of his kids, then there is no bar against such a marriage. However, in the case where he is not confident, he must avoid marrying a non-Muslim girl. In fact, even in the early pristine era of the Sahabah radiallahu anhum, where dedication and loyalty for Din was at its pinnacle, then too Sayyiduna Umar radiallahu anhu discouraged nikah with the Ahle Kitab. What can be said of the corrupt, immoral, and spiritually tainted era we live in today?
Nonetheless, in a situation such as the one you are faced with, there being no other Muslim women to marry, nikah with such a woman will be valid provided that the lady claims to follow Christianity in the true sense. The boy should now adopt even greater caution guarding his religious values. As stated, he should continue with his dedication in practicing on Din; performing salah, discharging zakat, etc. At the same time, he should maximize this opportunity to demonstrate the splendid manners, courtesy and consideration of Islam thereby eventually drawing the wife into Islam also.
Yes, it would be permissible to have the two women and man to witness the nikah.
THE SUNNAH METHOD OF CONDUCTING A NIKAH
After the girl consents her nikah to be performed, in the presence of the witnesses, you should conduct the nikah in the following manner:
1) It is sunnat to commence the performance of nikah with a khutbah. An easy khutbah such as this one could be recited:
اَلْحَمْدَ لِلَّهِ نَسْتَعِيْنُهُ وَنَسْتَغْفِرُهُ وَنَعُوْذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنْ شُرُوْرِ أَنْفُسِنَا ,مَنْ يَهْدِى اللَّهُ فَلاَ مُضِلَّ لَهُ , وَمَنْ يُضْلِلْ فَلاَ هَادِيَ لَهُ , وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ مُحَمَّدًا
عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُولُهُ .
2) The following three verses of the Quran will be recited thereafter:
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ وَقُوْلُوا قَوْلاً سَدِيْدًا , يُصْلِحْ لَكُمْ أَعْمَالَكُمْ وَيَغْفِرْ لَكُمْ ذُنُوْبَكُمْ , وَمَنْ يُّطِعِ اللَّهَ وَرَسُولَهُ فَقَدْ فَازَ فَوْزًا عَظِيْمًا.
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُمْ مِنْ نَّفْسٍ وَّاحِدَةٍ وَّخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثََّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالاً كَثِيرًا وَّنِسَاءً وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِيْ تَسَاءَلُوْنَ بِهِ وَاْلأَرْحَامَ , إِنَّ
اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا.
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللَّهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلاَ تَمُوتُنَّ إِلاََّ وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُونَ.
3) You will now address your son and say:
“I propose to marry A, daughter of B, to you in lieu of $… as dower, do you accept?”
Your son in turn will say, “Yes, I do accept.”
Once these steps are carried out, the nikah will be valid. There is no need to mention the third step in Arabic.
4) Immediately after the nikah is performed, it is sunnah to recite the following dua:
بَارَكَ الله ُ لَكَ وَ بَارَكَ عَلَيْكَ وَ جَمَعَ بَيْنَكُمَا فِىْ خَيْرٍ
As for performing the nikah in the Church, this is totally unacceptable in the Shariah. This would be tantamount to revering the sacred features of another religion and hence putting ones Iman at stake. This is a general ruling and applies at all times irrespective of whether you participate in the feast after the nikah or not. If the laws of Allah Ta’ala are flouted in the beginning of the marriage, what is subsequent to this will only be worse? After the nikah, we humbly implore Allah Ta’ala to shower His mercy and blessing on this , yet at the same time we carry out such practices which earn his wrath? Such paradoxical practices do not behove a Muslim! Nikah is means of creating a turning point in the couple’s lives to become better Muslims. In this case, the boy ought to draw the girl into religious practices but here; the opposite is coming into effect.
Nevertheless, our advice to you is that you earnestly try and convince the parents to reconsider their decision. You may suggest having the nikah in a neutral venue but in accordance to the procedure mentioned above i.e. suggest having it in a private venue, not in the Musjid and at the same time not in the Church. In this manner, the nikah will be in conformance to Shariah yet, not offend them in the least way also.
Do not propose the issue in an aggressive manner nor be too soft and feel intimidated in any way. Diplomacy is always a key ingredient for a positive result. Most importantly, together with proposing these options, remember that the controller of hearts and decisions is only Allah Ta’ala. Allah ever awaits His servants to beseech Him.
With regards to participating in the drinks, dancing, etc. we suggest you also tactfully excuse yourself from these un-Islamic customs.
Also, with regards to partaking of meat and meals prepared by the Ahle Kitab, the principle here is that, the permissibility or non permissibility of the meat will be classified according to the belief of the slaughterer. If the slaughterer is an atheist, then in no way will his meat be lawful. However, if it is slaughtered by the Ahle Kitab, then it will only be permissible if they recite His name at the time of slaughter. If these two conditions are absent, the meat will not be permissible. In this case, when preparing meals, the utensils of one dish is generally mixed with the other. If this happens, then the same haram meat utensils will be used for the fish, contaminating it and eventually making the fish also impermissible to consume.
It is also common nowadays that when cooking and preparing fish, wine is used as a seasoning and sprinkled over it. Any amount of wine, whether it is a drop or more is not lawful for a Muslim. You may suggest that the meals be prepared by an independent person. In this way you can assume the responsibility over this and ensure that the meat and all other ingredients are halal.
And Allāh Ta῾āla Knows Best
Wassalāmu ῾alaykum
Ml. Zeyad Danka,
Student Dārul Iftā
Student Dārul Iftā
Checked and Approved by:
Mufti Ebrahim Desai
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah
Dārul Iftā, Madrasah In῾āmiyyah
http://www.askimam.org/public/question_detail/18518
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